消停了

明白一件事
外加
遇到一个人，忽然明白自己到底想要在美国的生活什么样子，什么思想状态。
什么时候才能长大，不缠着不喜欢自己的人，不躲着自己不喜欢的人，开朗洒脱..

我却不知道我能不能做到，让自己离开一个已经非常熟悉的状态，进入到一个陌生的、寂寞的状态，怕是会很让人感到失落吧。要真正的安静下来，还需要很久很久，然后再去认真地去做一件让自己喜欢的事情，我指，……

哭吧哭吧然后就回到你自己了真的

过两天飞洛杉矶

每次坐飞机，都很担心到了飞机上被告知晚点。其实自己倒觉得很无所谓，但是家长会很着急，因为早就说好下飞机要打电话的。所以朋友，尤其是非常亲密的朋友，他们长途旅行我都不会提出“到地方通知一下”的要求。

不过我自己倒会主动告诉好朋友我到了.. 这样他们不会着急。到洛杉矶我会尽快找地方上msn的~

扯淡呢……

//这种东西看到很多很多，明显不是适合所有人的……我看男生们还是不要传了

1.向新朋友介绍女友时，请搂着她的腰，而不是站在一旁用手指点。//很有面子..?
2.在街上遇见美女凝视时间不超过５秒。//5秒……早走过了？还有难道他能跟女朋友面对面走路吗，看谁都能被发现？
3.如果她做错了事，你可以教训她， 但之后一定要记得哄哄她，因为她心里已经很难过，请主动承担起你应该甚至不应该承担的责任吧。//这是谁做错了事??凭什么要“承担责任”..?
4.我不提倡男生要一味地听女友的话，但你要记得，她永远是对你好的，就算有时有些小小的自私，但也一定是为了你好。//“但”字前后有转折关系么??
5 她欺负你，但你最好不要欺负她，因为每次有什么好东西，她第一个想到的就是，和你分享。//我无语了……作者这是什么逻辑??
6.要是她朝你哭，你要不厌其烦地哄她，直到她破涕为笑。//哭的时候被哄笑是件很郁闷的事情的说..我好不容易严肃一次……
7.把她的照片帖到钱包，手机……一切经常看到的地方。//我从来不拍大头贴，就是怕被贴……
8.在她的朋友面前，表现得比平时更疼爱她和紧张她的样子。//不在她朋友面前就不管了?
9.大男人不等于霸道。//男朋友霸道就霸道吧，没什么意见，没资本霸道的..这个..没什么希望做男朋友的说..
10.温柔不等于没主见。//温柔……这不是形容女生的么
11.潇洒不等于没交代。//潇洒..
12.不要总是在她问你 “去那里比较好”，“吃什么”等等的时候说“随便”，这不等于是你在迁就她，这表示你没有心思搭理她。//我口头禅哪
13.要经常对她说“我爱你”，否则她会假设你不爱她。//天哪……
14.永远不要在公众场合对她呼呼吼吼又或是撇下她一人。//这是男朋友还是我家长阿??
15.发脾气时不要不理她，不要给时间她让她冷静，她完全不需要时间冷静。//我晕……等冷静了还是发脾气么
16.可以抽时间陪自己的朋友，但不要让她觉得，在你的心里，任何一位朋友，都比她重要。//似乎王一方比任何朋友都重要的说..
17.在她想你时，争分夺秒地挤出时间与她约会。//自己的事还忙不忙了……
18.看她的眼神无比专注。//郁闷..
19.说话的语气情深意长。//继续郁闷..
20.能做到客观的得看待其它优秀的女孩，但主观认为她才是最好的。//这不是想做到就做到的吧?
21.有女孩和你说话，拉着她的手，如果她恰巧不在旁边，那么请你跟她们保持距离。//怕被看见??
22.过马路的时候牵着她的手。//小时候我姥姥从来都是这样的
23.懂得珍惜和她在一起的每分钟。//啥叫懂得？
24.就算再忙，每天都不忘打一个问候的电话。//阿……这个..
25.两个人都有发火的权利，但不能同一天,如果那一天她发火了，那你就不可以发火了。//同一天发火应该挺有意思的
26.她生活中不顺心，你要循循善诱、帮忙分析，提出建设性方案若干。//如果没有能力提出建设性方案，最好还是不要说一些很不建设性的充数..
27.即使全世界的人都不相信她，你也要无条件相信她。因为她也会同样对你。//女生好像更容易不相信男生，猪头就是这样女朋友没了的..
28她穿了好看的衣服，你要衷心赞美，因为她为你而容。//我倒很想知道到底哪个好看哪个难看
29.不要在其他女生面前耍贫，放电。//生活岂不是太无趣了……
30.不抽烟。//这点我同意，mon ami 敢在我身边抽烟下一秒钟就bye-bye
31.和她吵架每次陈述不超过３分钟，音量不超过２０分贝。//这是吵架么.. 20分贝……还没我耳机声大呢
32.在她心情遭透，蛮横发脾气的时候，握握她的手，抱抱她，哪怕一句话也不说。//有这样的男朋友太无聊了，我比较喜欢有本事让我不太敢发脾气的
33.坚决不出现手机没电而她又没有其它办法联系到你的现象，如果出现了，也要想办法和她联系，因为，她会着急，会担心。 //飞机上..? 联系啥呀
34.她不讲理是在跟你撒娇。//哦
35.她所有的事情都好想跟你分享，虽然你不一定会明白但是希望你会装做你在听。//少装……
36.当你看到她用小本子一条一条地记下你给她的短信时，当你听到她细数哪一天哪一天是你们的纪念日时，不要嫌她烦，这是她爱你的方式. //我的天哪 .. 我的天哪!! 这得记到什么时候啊
37.永远不要在她面前表现出你一点都不在意她跟其他异性朋友关系的态度，她不认为那是你的大度，她认为那是你不够紧张她，不够在乎她。//这一点.. 最好不要管我的说
38. 她每次跟你说分手的时候，你要分析一下她的心理，她是不是真的想要离开你。其实，大多数情况下，她只是没有其他方法能够引起你的重视和注意，她只是想知道，你是不是还在意她，是不是，还爱她。//宁愿用其他方法引起注意.. 这不是太容易了么……

明白某事..

Random life says:哦。。谁让你想帮他。。呵呵。。你可以不帮么。。
Time Listener says:不知道。。。可能习惯把
Random life says:所以么。
Random life says:如果你愿意，就不要生气。不愿意，那就干脆不要干。。呵呵。。

很讽刺的一件事

我还没有把前2篇blog删掉，日记就被某哥看到了。很郁闷的说。所以现在那个日记本已经没什么意义了。原因是，虽说我不是很在乎我随手写出来的东西，但是今天发现在你知道会有人看到的情况下写的东西是不一样的.. 而且对这个日记本的感觉也变化很大....

鉴于这个本现役期间，我的生活也很无聊，我决定……

让它退役.......

第一本没写完的日记。

下一本：《守义·图》+铅笔。

Nice Latte, Gold Star Blvd

only problem: now it's too late to get one.
cappuccino is even better, but save it for new york..

新文件夹：发现好多我哥的照片

如题.. 有不少，足以让我create a new folder，命名：发现好多我哥的照片
而且... 我哥很帅..
(我好像很少这样说话，不过……我哥真的很帅.. )
不要汗..

有些地方很好，想写什么写什么

单纯的惯性思维，自己什么样会把别人也当成什么样……？

也许是因为在自己这里，喜欢是“追”的必要非充分条件，因此感觉所有别人也是这样。尽管理智告诉我不是这样……今天晚上被搅得几乎没有效率，想起mama是这样被baba追到的，愈发觉得这个世界很扭曲，变态的扭曲。有些人很值得同情，有人值得同情却没人同情，有人值得同情并且获得了很多同情；有些人根本不值得同情，有人不值得同情却掠取很多同情，有人不值得同情也没被人同情；有人值得同情并且需要同情，有人不值得同情也需要同情，还有人值得同情，但他性格强悍不需要同情，还有不值得同情也不需要同情……

社会会倾向同情弱者，我不知道现在谁是弱者。社会也不知道谁到底是弱者，社会知识同情社会认为是弱者的弱者，就是显得比较惨的那个。我说我不知道谁是弱者是很刻薄的说法，但是我不了解状况，也不想评论，更不想同情……就只好刻薄一下。忽然想起同情这种东西不仅不中用，更不中看.. 既不能提供帮助，还会带着一大堆消极情绪来搅乱气氛。这样看来那些在困境逆境中哈哈大笑的，如果前提是脑子还好使的话，则可推知这个人不仅脑子好使，还可以说很豁达大方。大概算王一方想找的智慧之一吧。

haha... get this title:

"academic"

it's the first time that i get this title from 1st grade.. thanks and i'll tell my previous teachers about it.

my chemistry teacher sort of broke up with me i refused to do his homework and study carefully because it came to the chapter i didn't like... i should tell him that now i "enjoy" study so much..

“大多数人的嘴都像装了筛子" 记我的两个不装筛子的朋友

“我不装筛子。”

这是我为什么那么喜欢王一方。现在她不在，我身边少了那么剔透的一块石头。我们在一起的时候说话都很损，关乎缺点，从来没有过避讳。摩擦不少，却互相珍惜。有时候她说她受不了我，太ge，我回敬说我也受不了她。我就告诉她我们要“保持距离”，然后又用很长很长的时间琢磨她到底为什么会和sxx成为很好的朋友，才算小心的保存好我们的友谊。

我明白回报很重要，所以我可以理解为什么大家都那么小心的选择自己的专业。不过像王一方这样有十足资本的人，会毫不犹豫的选择自己最大兴趣作为专业。学校给她“调剂”到分数线高一点的专业，因为她的分实在太高了，当然，她自己又给调回来了。最大化自己的优势，又享受她这个特殊行当带给她这群特殊怪物的乐趣，我现正在替她开心。这样豁达，又这样专注，她有什么理由不在以后成为领头的人呢。

张驿弈是另外一个我身边不装筛子的。尽管有时候有些半开玩笑地“装”，被我嚷嚷“没事闲得装什么装！”以后还是会很快回到正常状态。当然了，那些天生或者后天，总之虚伪得时间太长以至于忘记自己想说什么想做什么的那些人，也就不值得这样嚷嚷了。你冲他们开火，他们反倒会觉得你自视超凡，想你在这个龌龊的环境就不要考虑什么淤泥什么不染，仿佛只有他们会背周敦颐的几句拽词。

有点可惜，这两个人没有凑到一块去，反倒分别是我最好的朋友。其实wyf没有那么“不正常”，zyy也不是什么play boy。其实wyf是很喜欢《傲慢与偏见》的，看了很多遍。大概是因为我，这个偏见变得更加难以化解。至于zyy，我只能说他不够了解wyf。其实既然他说过在“他的方面”我有成为他女朋友的可能性，wyf同志则有更大的可能性..只是不了解而已。

无聊之极

1 自己知道无聊……就好
2 shy的一句歌词，经典的经典。几乎所有人在某些特定时候都表现这些特定的奇怪行为。其实很无聊。
3 估计1只有我能看懂，2只有tino和我能看懂。

no title..

仍然觉得自己很蠢⋯⋯我决定得知某人恢复正常以后就把这件事情忘掉。尽管很难吧。

看似我的大学的主题就这样慢慢冷却下来？鼓，数学或科学。这样看来我跑到工科学校这件事情也多少有点愚蠢。今年中科大多少分来着？⋯⋯

足球比赛还有一个多小时开始，不过我现在就要出去了。喜欢pep band.

next week is going to be exciting..

after the observation thru this week.... i finally found severy spots for my next week trial.. ha.. cool places to hide in.. besides considering my own stuff, i'll see if people can find me..

however, i may also spend long time in dorm. since i'm planning to move my furniture, and give myself a study place by the wall (like my high school's classroom..), i'll check out if i can make my dorm more effective..

this weekend isn't going to be pleasant.... to much homework. so it is with next week... though mid term exams are all over...

应该跟wx同学说点什么？真的觉得很尴尬，其实不应该这样的。曾经因为同样的原因失去过几个朋友，还有非常珍惜的伙伴。每次都觉得自己很蠢很幼稚，以为所有人都像我一样把友谊阿爱好阿看的那么重。重要的是每次都觉得自己不长记性……还有的时候是不希望别人失望，虽然我知道这可能会带来更大的失望..

怎么形容呢，反正我是某种很难理解和了解的人，连我自己都不太理解自己。自相矛盾和有人说得“外表和内心分离”。所以如果仅仅是几天的了解就认定喜欢这个人，说不定更了解以后会失望很多。

cryptograms

i liked it several years ago. now i don't have the excitement to solve them.. but i thought of something that can hardly be solved by others.

TCV

if i tell what it actually is, some people will get annoyed, some dissapointed and some may be comforted. dunno. im also twisted in such annoying situation.

i'll be disappeared next week, or in a couple of weeks.. people will see me in class or musical activities, but i dont really want to show up for other stuff... just to think about what i want to be like in the near future..

幼稚

为什么我不长记性，还是那么幼稚⋯⋯而且以为所有人都和自己一样幼稚

almost cried @ alden..

music.. i thought of my assignments, and then music.. sometimes crazy idea come to me that i wanna spend all my time on music. seems nothing else interests me that much except for several subjects and music....

saw and heard them playing and singing music.

...


...

untitled.. (this is my favourite title)

found sth. today.. that i don't know how to play violin in an orchestra.. that's the result of playing that many years alone. It has been 13 years since I first played the violin. Yet it's my third year playing with others. So even though I really love playing in dual, quartet and orchestra, I still feel like greenhand or something... last week when i played Academic Festival, i spent most my time reading music... which made me feel so awkward.

the good thing abt today is, I finally get the full version of that cadanza in Sun Shining in TashiKurGan. It was awesome. Before today i always came to a halt at the middle of the cadanza, but now I can go through! I still have 9 months to complete this masterpiece. Then I can bring my favourite piece of music to the annual performance.. SOUNDS GREAT. though i do prefer drums.. but if i suggest that i play drums instead of the violin, my teacher's going to kill me.. she'll say, "how come u get rid of violin for drums in a couple of weeks!" HA!

my current violin teacher is an excellent viola player. and she's a great music teacher. She's young and passionate, she's exact, and she's soooooo nice. also, i love playing the violin with her viola. in our dual quartet, my last violin teacher plays the first violin, and my current violin teacher plays the viola. i play the second violin, and it's easy and interesting. when the first violins are in a "hurry" playing the bunch of notes, we could just sit back and play several short chords. However, those chords are fantastic and without them the whole piece of music sounds lack of rhythm..

my violin teacher suggests me to play the viola for a period of time, that sounds nice to me. cuz i'd love to change, and i like the deeper voice of viola. meanwhile, if I learn to play the viola, I can play in a jazz band as well. so when i get a job and get more money, i'll buy myself a viola and start playing it.:-D

well.. if i really have my own money, there are a lot of music stuff to buy.. a performancing violin, a viola, a drum set, a guitar.. by the last two ones i mean electrical.. ha.. even more expensive.

looking forward to finishing practising the SUNSHINE.. the challenging solo..

courses

im not feeling happy abt my PH1111 assignment score.. cuz it's below average... only because i didn't box my answers and i got 15% off (NOT price..)...

anyway, i just "designed" my college study.. being a math major has been more and more possible to me. i'll concentrate on "Algebraic and Discrete Maths" and "Computational and Applied Analysis", which are more theoretical than practical.. sounds nice to me.

i still feel a bit lost about deciding not to major in biology. i mean in college. last week i saw a girl's book The Cell, and opened it and read it, and everything seemed soooo familiar. For the last two years I was so sure i would major in biology, that i cut half of my study time in other subjects to study college level biology. After that I decided not to study biology in college. cuz if I major in this one, I'll be too confident to work hard, whereas I really shouldn't be that confident. I'm still young, and I can afford challenging choice. After 4 years study biology, plus 2 years in high school, I'm not sure if I can still afford that change at that time.

Next term I'm going to take MA 2071, Matrices and Linear Algebra.. Looking forward to it. YEAH. I'll finish that before MA 1033 and 1034 come, since one of the math majors who has taken those courses said that they were the most difficult courses she's ever taken @ wpi..

PH test

I was too unserious.. seriously..
that easy test.. didn't make it that well.. the second problem.. i think i really should be more careful..

those that seem simple to me.... might not be that simple to others

i don't mean doing exercises, i mean the way doing things. it's the first time i found that i'm too unserious, that i don't care abt nearly anything but my interest. so i'm always feeling that something's "simple", u do it that way, and that's fine. but it's not actually fine...

(i still wonder.. could it be that serious..? is it really my problem that i'm too unserious..??)

What is fun is not really fun..

We were told that we should not step on the seal in the middle of the quad. That if we step on it, we won't be able to graduate. But I step on it everytime, and I'll see if I graduate or not...

Air conditioners in Olin Hall is working really hard....
One more point abt the physics: I love quiz... cuz I can leave 20 minutes after the class starts..

Feel of lost is something like..

When u'r ready to obtain something, that u'r feeling pretty cool abt it. Then u were told that u did not... And so you feel lost.

As i learned in my math lesson, u need to get to the result little by little, step by step...
And as I read in The Old Man and the Sea, that it is better to be lucky, but one would rather be exact. Then when luck comes he is ready...

I should say that I understood neither of them, but I would rather that I knew them. cuz if i knew them, i would not be soooo "unlucky", that i missed sooooo many opportunities that i could've got.